Bums and Bumchums

If we were to leave Cairns today, and someone asked us "So what did ye do in Cairns?"
The reply would be "Do you know the lagoon on the waterfront? Yeah, we spent most of our time in the carpark beside that"
It's true, we've even been sleeping there the last couple of nights, although last night we got woken up by security. We had left a wine bottle outside so he didn't ask us to move, as they can't legally ask you to move if you've been drinking. So there's a tip for any travellers.

Here's some interesting things you might not be interested in:

1. During the 2006 Commonwealth Games back in Melbourne, they got all the bums and Abbos and put them up in hotels around the city for entire duration on the games. Once over, they were all back on the street corners.

2. The other day we were cleaning out Sheila, I took out my board and left it on Alfs bonnet. After a few hours downtown I remembered it, I ran back to the carpark (Yes, the lagoon carpark) and it was still there. What a bloody arsh.

3. We stopped in a great winery on the way into Cairns called Murdering Point Winery, they deal in wines from fruits other than grapes, such as passonfruit, mango, davidson plum and a few other bush fruits. They had a few amazing ports as well. Some gorgeous wines I tell ya.

4. Blurtie lost the last key of the van, and since I lost mine too, we've got to use a penknife to start it until we get to a toyota dealer.

5. Before the lagoon carpark, we found a rest stop about 10k out of Cairns. We've always stayed in these, as they are free and usually empty or have some truckers passing through, which can be good craic.
But this particular one, this was different.
We drove down the entrance into it, and were met with quite a nice park surrounding the carpark, toilets were supplied too. But alot of cars were there too.
Alot of people seemed to just be sitting in there respective cars.
It had left my lips before the wheels had pulled into our car space for the night..."Bender Creek" - I said, in a voice of slow realisation.
Here's what we've gathered from observign them:
OK you pull up and wealk along past the cars, sometimes with a lighter under your face, to show whats on offer I guess. Then if someone from one of the cars is interested, they flash their lights for a second. The walker continues along the carpark, over to the line of trees, and proceeds down the edge like a tightrope walker. A minute later, said light flasher emerges from the car, and follows suit.
Also parking faced in means something other than facing lights out. We are not fully sure, but here are some thoughts on it: It means you're taken/waiting for someone in particular. It means you've brought someone. It tells if you are a giver/taker. EEwwwwwwwwwww.
All the theories proved to have some weight.

Anywhoo, after an undisturbed night of disturbing scenes, we decided Bender Creek wasn't that bad, and that a second night wouldn't be such a bad idea, it's certainly better than paying $25 each for a hostel.
So back we went, seeing the usual scenes again, and some of the usual suspects as well.
All was going fine, until I went for a pee in the middle of the night.
My pee break coincided with Blurtie Aherns middle-of-the-night-chocolate-feast-break, which she also has to get out of the van for, to get into the front seat, where the chocolate is stored.
Halfway through an abnormaly long pee, a muster of cars speed down the relief road, a procession of fifteen cars swing round the bend and end up with lights on me, peeing.
A chorus of hoots, wolf whistles and general shouting was blaring from the line of windows shadowed by the beaming row of headlights.
"Great" I thought "It's the gay parade"
I heard Blurtie freaak out and run inside the van, locking the door in the process.
"Shit" I thought again "These aren't gay, they're here to beat up gays"
I took a step back fom myself, standing there, a pair of hippie shorts and nothing else.
"How am I going to explain I'm just camping, and not camp"
Well I made my way back to the locked van, and after some muffled coaxing by Macleod, Egbert calmed enough to let me in. By this stage I was starting to freak out myself. I've been told of gangs here on the east coast, and I've a bit of knowledge of mob mentality.
Well from our poor view through a slit in the windows, we saw them circle a car at the top of the carpark, blocking the exit in the process.
I was busy hurling stuff from the front into the back, so I could start to drive off if they come down for us.
"Phone the police" says Macleod, who was staying quite calm, apart from the odd swear followed by an update from the poor view through the slit in the window.
Despite full coverage on my phone, it wouldn't connect. But at least we know now, to be prepared for handling situations yourself in Australia, because the emergency number is on hiatus.
A bang, followed by roar from the crowd echoed outside.
We noticed then that all but one of the midnight flashers had gone.
"What the feck is goin' on?"
Eventually we discovered they were burning out an old car, and after a good bit of engine noise and general Tom foolery, they took their boy racer cars and promptly left, expecting the police no doubt, but not aware they are out for a chinese.

We never went back to Bender Creek.