Moonshine

Laos is great, it's just not infiltrated by tourists yet. Thailand gets over 11,000,000 a year. Laos gets 40,000. The people are the nicest people I've ever met. They are happy to do anything for you, just speaking english to them is reason enough for them to do something for you, as it says on a sign here: help us to speak english. I love these people.
When trying to order breakfast yesterday, the waiter ran to the school around the corner and got the English teacher to come round and translate for us, who does that? eh?
we got to talking to him, Vandi is his name (which means good day in Lao!) and he invited us to a football match his school were having against another team in the Luang Namtha district. So we met his students and they are brilliant at english for having only studied it for a few months. in hte back of a truck with the entire team! which was gas, one of which was the best english speaker, he also spoke mong, which is a small tribe of people in a nearby village, of which he is from. the game was great, "our team" won 4-3. the pitch was surrounded by school children, and here and there adults and monks and the like. afterwards the home team invited our team in for a party.
what a party.
free food, most of which was too hot for our delicate palates. Then moonshine was brought out. it is tradition in Laos that someone who has drink pours himself one, then continues around everyone until it is gone, they must've had 4litres of poitin. we were beyond drunk, but didnt want to be rude! the same story happened with beer, let me tell you, asian people can drink. boy can they drink. Smeels thinks one bottle going around was rubbing alcohol, as it had a cross on it, and smelt and taste like it. i saw some coming from a motor oil container. it was great. we were so accepted into their community. oh and i taught a class for a while! it was so cool. i was saying words on the board and they were hanging on every one.
Here's something interesting:
you can smoke at any age.
you can drink at 15, hence the school team drinking the hard stuff.
you should bow slightly passing someone seated( as the head is considered high and the feet low, much as in Laos)
so we were in bed at 10.30, Smeels at 8. a good tomato and onion Omelette this morning and we were right as rain.
We can't afford to get a flight out of here.( also its not recommended as many trips prove fatal)
There are no ATM's so what we came in with is all we have.
My ideas of building a bamboo raft and sailing the Namtha down onto the Mekong were quickly quenched by the girls.
The idea now is to try coax a Lao sailor/fisherman to take us as close to Cambodia as he can,once we're on the Mekong we'll be happy, happy but scared. Or hire, oh no we don't have a plan b yet.
Time for a plan b and to get of this thing.
More interesting facts:

1. During the ten hours on the road we met 5 other vehicles not including diggers on the side of the roads.

2. We saw electricty on route only once, and we believe it was a solar panel outside the establishments powering them.

3.The toilets are worse then thailand, but more fun.

4. i saw the biggest grass hopper of my life last night, almost 4 inches of body alone.

thank you and good day


oh yeah sorry about all the comments posted about lesbian sex, and golf courses and whatever else, such is life when using a free service.

Mind yourselves
Brian Dolan
Net Cafe
Luang Namtha
Luang Namtha Province
People's Democratic Republic Of Laos

Jostled

I liked Chiang Mai. What day is it today....Thursday, then itwas Tuesday we left for Chiang Khong, to stay there for our boat and truck the next day.
I loved Chiang Khong, a quaint little village strewn out along one main street. Absolutely no one took notice of us, or tried to sell us anything, which was a welcome change from our previous experiences of Thailand.
We took a mini-bus there with a very cool bunch of people, and one grumpy driver! After all of us getting settled in and after meeting our first Irish couple, we walked down to a cool reggae hand out joint/pub. Twas filled with cool little things hanging everywhere, including the staple diet for such joints as: Bob Marley pictures, Jamaican flags, the words freedom and peace and of course that old Marijuana leaf sign. After The Doors and Pink Floyd finished on the stereo, guitars were whipped out and Smeels and Raychel were drunk, can't say I wasn't either! Smeels performed a number of songs, which were great, and Raychel almost fell asleep on the pillows on the ground we were sitting on.
So next day we set out for our boat across the Mekong river to County Laois, Mountmellick was the intended destination. The visas were got and at the bus station we got some Kip, not sleep but currency, I think its 13,000 Kip to the Euro, and the most common denomination of note is 1,000 so you're walking around with bags full of it, 4oeuro is....3and a half inches high!
OK for the last paragraph I'm going to bitch and moan about the truck to Luang Namtha, so skip it if you don't wanna hear it! here goes:
On our trip to the bus station, we realised Laos doesn't have roads, just red dirt tracks, and being the rainy season, these are flooded in alot of places. Laos' national symbol should be the pothole. They have the kings of all the pothole clans: wide ones, long ones, bottomless ones, you name it. You're sitting on a bench in the back of a pick-up truck, metal protrudes from everywhere; the base of your back, your ass, your head all get knocked about in each pothole. We were informed it was to be a seven hour journey. SEVEN HOURS in the truck of terror s Raychel so aptly named it. At times you drive over logs across strems and rivers, you just drive through, the dirt tracks are caved into the side of moutains, so steep embankments are usually havering over you on at least one side. Landsildes/mudslides are common, as we found out when one was cleared from on front of us, and our truck slid sideways down a hill, which was fun in life-threatening sort of way. Ten hours it took. One of the most intense experiences of my life. For the few moments I could release one hand I took some beautiful photos of the landscape. I wouldn't do it again, but I'm sooooooooo happy I did, it was so worth it. I saw the real Laos, the billages, the kids so excited to see us they drop umbrellas or whatever they are doing just to wave at us, the huts just big enough to sleep in, the rice fields, the mountains with clouds laying in the valley, animals strolling the street. We laughed the entire ten hours at how outrageous it was, havn't laughed so much in a long time, madness i tells ya! Chronic jostlitis, so jostled we were delirius and halucinating, we started seeing things in the dark!
Jostled.
Super Jostled.

County Laos

OK, I've calmed down now, I've come to be happy that it was only money, not the wnd of the world!
We went on our "Trek" today. It was four days, then three, then two for a good while, and at the last minute one day.
I've mixed feelings....it was a degrading day for the animail kingdom. Elephant rides, Oxen drawn carriages and chained Monkeys. The only creatures that seemed in anyway free were the Butterflies, but the chains hanging as doors on the small enclosure soon quenched that thought!
I'm gonna try get some of these photos up somehow, I might send them on to animal rights groups too, while I'm at it.
You should've seen the foot deep mcuky shite the Oxen were whipped to pull us through, the Elephants were plunging three feet at times, due to the rainy season having just ended up here. On second thoughts I enjoyed one part very much, the jungle, oh two things, the bamboo rafting.
Such noble creatures, those Elephants, and they had them painting flowers, playing harmonicas(and drums and shakers.... and giving massages???) and other such circus type crap.
Met a sound English lad ( I know) but sure enough, a complete English tosser wasn't far behind. There's alwasy one says you!
Went to an Orchid farm, that was cool, Smeels tells me I must read The Orchid Thief and wathc Adaptation.
Nellie there was a butterfly farm built on beside it! Twas cool, but wasn't as big as I hoped. Yesterday was the Sunday Market, the best market of them all. Full of Thai people mincing through, that's always a good sign as opposed to tourists.
To all who've sent mails, thanks! Fair play ta ye, appreciate them.
Well it's a five-night Camle ride to Loas tomorrow, or a two day bus/boat/truck journey. Only six hours each day so it's pretty easy going. Get this: If a westerner is caught courtin' a Laos woman, it's an on hte spot fine of five hundred dollars, isn't that gas! Must wann keep the race pure says you. Well I say it's the first step to inbreeding. I'll be keeping an eye out to see if everyone looks suspiciously alike......
Stay tuned.

It only left my side when locked in our room

Gutted. Robbed. Pissed off. At some point in Koh Tao I was robed of my 1600 Aussie dollars, yes I am bitter.
To all who donated gifts to me out of the generousity of their hearts, my apologies. I feel like a fool. At some stage in our stay there, I believe a cleaning lady rummaged through my belongings she took off the bed. She got what she was looking for.

Chillin' In Chiang Mai

We had a great chat with some msonks in a temple yesterday. It was cool to talk to them. They are encouraged to learn english, so they talk to foreigners openly.
Nellie you'll never guess what book I bought in a book shop here.....no...yep that's right: Hound of the Morrigan, in possibly the best bookshop myself or Smeels ever graced.
We spent today chillaxin' in the garden here in Eagle house where we're staying, a nice guest house owned by a Thai man and his Irish wife. Very helpaful people, books and info here, also tne diferent pancakes on the breakfast menu so I'm over the moon!
Oh yeah a massive cockroach fell on Smeels' head in the toilet there a while ago, it was gas craic, well, for me anyway, Raychel's not to keen on them....
The evening took us to a fancy restaurant we felt we deserved after all our travels. A stroll to the market, spending more than we bidgeted again!
We're taking tomorrow to go to a famous puppet show would you believe, and the sunday market in the old city, it's renowned for its shite so we'll mince down there too.
Goodnight, hope me auld nightmares don't come again. Curse those malaria tablets and this heat!

Good for the falafel

Ok we left Koh Tao yesterday morning on the 10AM ferry, got a bus from there to Bangkok, ran to collect bags on the way to the train that took us from there to Chiang Mai.
After 29hours of travelling we arrived here. It's like Bangkok with out the bad stuff, OK yes there are still tuk-tuk drivers pleading you to hop in with them, also I'm sure it wasn't all woman that tried to lure me into some club there earlier....
On a lighter note, Smeels is chillaxin' in the abode for tonight, while myself and Raychel took a stroll to the Night Bazaar, an absolutely massive night market, we walked for two hours and still were only half-way through gawking at the bits and bobs. So much crafts and hand-carved objects of delicate workmanship. We made friends with the owner of a restaurant here, I'm actually on his pc upstairs writing this now, nice guy, trying to give everyone free shots of snake whiskey ( a Laos drink which actually has a Python inside the bottle with a smaller snake in its mouth - not sure how I feel about this absurd drink) and what not. Get this, he's from Israel, but also is half Italian so he speaks that as well. His clients are english speaking, so he speaks that too. His business is here so he speaks Thai too! I put him at round 23 years old, Madness!
Anywhoo, after our long journey, we're gonna chill out tomorrow and do a bit of browsing.
After that, it's trek-time! Yes indeed. Gotta get me auld bits tomorrow for it.
OK we're also offered free movies in this guys place here so I think it's the Simpsons on now behind me.
God bless Thailand, and our Adam Sandler lookalike host.
Better go digest.


P.S. I had another entry from last night, but we drank so much on the train, (as I was convinced the four Japenese men opposite us in the dining carriage were trying to out drink two Irish girls and myself - fools I tell you!) that on looking at the scribbles on the page today, I think it best to leave out whatever I had in my head last night.

Net Trouble

Folks, after a few hopurs I've managed ta get a few posts up. I think the site has been down, and it seems ta go slow at the best of times.
Anywhoo there's a few new posts there, so scroll up from the bottom first, or you'll hear it all backwards!
Meanwhile I've a Husky biting my arm here wanting me to play with it and its jingly toy.
It's 32Degrees in the Gulf of Thailand and a Husky is at me. Drugs

Qualified

I'm now a qualified open water diver, have a PADI cert ta prove it :)
Dives one and two went great yesterday, was very cool to actually be swimming with the fish on the reef. It took the wind out of me though!
After a night-time cruise on the bike around the island I was ready for bed. Lucky I was, as we were up at 6 this morning for dives three and four. Dives three and four...what an experience. For the few who know it, and the majority who don't....I hate sharks. No I'm scared shitless of them, hate is wrong there! Well I didn't see one, well tehcnically not. I saw a Whale Shark, swam with it. Before we go on, lets pull up some Whale Shark facts:-

1. Endangered: Less than 2000 left in the world.

2. Grow to 15metres. (our one was 4 and a half, or 14 feet)

3. Are the largest Fish in the world.

4. Eat Plankton, thus I wasn't soiling myself when I saw it.

OK so after dive three, dive four was cool, lots of shoals of exotic fish, and more beautiful coral formations.
A final exam and we were qualified.
A trip to the store and Bean gets wet suit and boots.
An excursion to Pub to watch a Dvd made of the Dives.
A bumpy ride back to write this, and now, I think a few more beers and I'll sleep like a log

Good night

I'm ready for bed, I'm so ready for bed.

Diving. A diving course to be exact. Tis gas craic, more like it will be! We've been watching videos, doing tests, practical shite and the like, today we went diving in a swimming pool, amnt I cool, passing under people wearing togs, and me in suits and tanks and masks and jackets and whatever else they could fit inside the pool with me.
On another note, this place is gorgeous, a heaven of sorts, beautiful beaches, coral reefs, palm trees and whatever else you think paradise has, this place hasthe newer model, with heated seats, and cup-holders.
I'm sitting outside our apartment here, studying for our test and our first real open-water dive tomorrow. And Smeels just informed me we're doing two dives tomorrow. I get the feeling they're rushing us, to get more punters/money for themselves.
Thai people....they'll do anything for some Bhat, even chop off bits.
Raychel and our new Dutch friend Matthew, are gone to the full moon party. Smeels has a flu and I couldn't be arsed. Not my scene.
Hold on 'til I get an auld guitar and see if anything else comes to me.....
Ahhh yes.... Dad you'll have a good laugh at this, we rented motorbikes for a week or so the other day. Everyone uses them to get around the dirt tracks classified as roads.
I thought Bangkok had alot of dogs, I counted how many were asleep on the side of the road earlier, after 40feet I stopped counting at 22 dogs... that's alot of Dogs folks.
It was 35Degrees when we got here off our 3 and a half hour boat ride, I think its leveling round 30Degrees.
Rain comes, for an hour or two, but it's welcomed.
Time I gave Smeels a hand with our homework, the poor divil has done it all!
Chat ye soon

Tin Roof

I'm wet, tired, hungry, yet happy. It's 5.30 A.M., I've slept for tweo hours, hold on, lets start earlier today....
Wat po - A beautifultemple, well collection of temples. The first University in Thailand, home to the reclining Buddha Nellie!
Hold on, just getting a beer...
Now!
So I'm writing my entries into a notebook to post at a later date, amnt I great!
OK, so after more fights with tuk-tuk drivers, we got our tickets for Koh Tao: an island off south Thailand FYI!. We were told 6 o'cock, we checked some bags in, to be minded 'til we're back, ate the toughest chicken ever, they actually gave me a steak knife, which turned into a butter knife by the time i was finished hacking with it.
6 o'clock - rain, no bus
7 o'clock - still raining, no bus
8 o'clock rain stops, bus comes Yey!
After 20 minutes we had moved approx. 30 feet fue to Bangkok traffic (Thank God I decided against renting an auld car in the end...) B ut we were soon on our way. With a stop in a Gecko infested Rat pit, on a dirt patch on the side of the road, for the worst toilet in Thailand, and the rudest shop assistant, well stall assistant.
Anywhooo, I was shoiok awake after getting our ears BLASTED by dvds on our "VIP" reclining seat bus and out we hopped to wait for our bus to the boat.
4 o'clock - rain
5 o'clock - rain, some joker asking for money to drop us to the ferry port
5.20 - off we go down 60Baht each, in the back of this jokers pickup truck with a tin roof over us against the elements.
He takers the scenic route to another bus termional, but thankfully this oneI'm sitting in now has an offical air about it.
Well we're told 6.30 AM the bus will be here to pick us up and bring us to the ferry
Sleep mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............................

Amelia will be known as Smeels from now on, she is writing a dairy, here is her entry for today:
"I fucking hate Tom Cruise"
-It's a long story, but I feel her pain.
This place smells.

"She mightn't have known Adam, but she had his apple..."

Ladyboys, shims, shemales, chips with dips (for wnat of another phrase)
Yes call them what you like, but they were out in force last night.
Wasn't adjusted time-wise at all i found out betwix 2am and 6am, but our hero was up with fresh underwear outside his shorts for the day ahead. What a great day....
Well besides Raychel sick for half of it ( Poor thing, on her first trip abroad-cue the awwww's)
and some joker driving us around in a tuk-tuk to places we never ash\ked to go, but he was obviously getting paid for showing up with three dumb westerners with money to burn. We caught on fairly quick and after a bit-o'-shoppin', we were back eating shnitzels at the same place as yesterday.
We've decided on renting a car for 5-days and driving down south, after a "Travel agent" (-I know, I know) pissed Smeels off, and pretty much tried to shaft us.
We're gona stay here for the day tomorrow beacuse:-

1. Wana see more!

2. Waitin' on a suitable suit for Big Beansie

3.In the hope that we'll have Raychels bag before we head out of Bangkok

Oh! I bought a massive hammock, better get someone to plant two trees, round 12feet apart as soon as possible...
:)
Well if all goes well next time I'm writing I'll be in another seedy hostel 600km south of Bangkok. The one for tonight, although a peg or two above last night, still is uber seedy, and I'm killing bed bugs as i write to you with a hand that hasn't seen soap in a looong time.
Bean

A.W.O.L. Bags and time that drags

Where to start...lets go with Raychel and her bag going to Maliga, Spain. "Why?" I hear you ask, well it's because the silly aer lingus woman put her on it as well, but when Raychwel realised someone was sitting in "her seat" (OK I'll stop with those stupid quote yokes now) they somehow forgot to change her bag from heading to sunny Spain for nylon strung guitars, and crazy golf.
Anywhoo..I'm here!
In Bangkok now, staying in a seedy hostel/hotel/slum, which oddly, after scattering our belongings across our floors, feels like home. A double and single room cost a whopping 6 smackers for both, for the night, god bless this place. :)
On the drive into Khao San road, it almost seemed they had speckled a tropical rainforest with houses and office blocks like a patchwork quilt, at times beautiful, at times dilapidated.
Our plans:

1. See more of Bangkok tomorrow and decide to stay, or go and do it before we leave, this all depends on what happens tomorrow.
2. To have a few more beers upstairs and a good bitch about the pros/cons of going south/north first.
3. To find away to stop Raychel puking!
4. To find out later if the writings on our walls are the truth, regarding visits from snakes and roaches and the like.
5. To try not do too much impulsive buying.
6. Stay away from dogs, ladies of the night, lady-boys of the night, shite food and ice cubes - all unpleasant and generally disease-ridden.

well I'd better go and drink this beer I speak of, as we have no fridge in the room, in fact besides a fake leather chair, two beds, two pillows - there isn't much else. We even have two windows, one of which has no pane in it!
Oh call me crazy, but I love it.
On with the deet and something ta bring down me swollen-flying-foot-syndrome.
Take care folks,
chat y'all soon!
Bean

Preparation

Well here we are now, the night before.
I'm almost packed and almost tired enough to fall asleep.
I've said bye, I've said I will miss you all, and I will.
I'll also be doing me auld best to get to this yoke as often as I can, and let y'all in on whats going down. I'll also be trying to shtick random phrases which mightn't be important or relevant, but will be shtuck in none-the-less.
A few numbered points to follow:

1. Take care of dear olde Ireland while I'm absent.
2. Someone fill my quota with Arthur Guinness.
3. Try farting in the bath sometime. It'll make you feel childish, but it will also make you laugh.
4. Take a moment to think about this: If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, the meal was cooked along time ago.
5. Look after you small intestine, it's often overlooked and always abused.

We laughed, we cried, and maybe died a little inside.
But wasn't it worth it?....

Bean